


Morning Madness

by Mendeia



Series: Proximity to Balance [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gen, Humor, One Shot, Prankster!Duo;
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-31
Updated: 2013-03-31
Packaged: 2017-12-07 01:22:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/742513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mendeia/pseuds/Mendeia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The morning before a mission, certain Preventers agents are woken up in a...slightly unorthodox manner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morning Madness

"Gooooooood morning campers!"

"This is possibly the _worst_ idea I have ever had," Heero grumbled, using every bit of his self-control to not locate the source of the noise and shoot it to pieces. "I had no idea Quatre could be so cruel."

"It's a bright oh-four-hundred here on L4," the voice practically giggled, "and time for all sleeping ickle-bitty bunnies to rise and shine! I'm your Morning Bringer of Cheer and I'll be here until you are!"

Heero snorted but sat up. He could just barely make out the tiniest of noises through the thick wall that divided his room from the next, where he guessed Chang Wufei was bellowing his displeasure. Not at the wake-up call; they'd asked for that, after all. Although every one of the former Gundam pilots had attuned their internal chronometers to absolute precision, they had also learned that they slept better when they did not have to go to the trouble; in a place they could truly allow themselves to rest, guards down, they wanted as much depth of sleep as they could get. It wasn't that they were being woken early that was causing such outrage.

It was that call being delivered by a so-very-awake-and-chipper Duo via the internal PA system.

"Breakfast is already piping hot and waiting for you three lazybones to join us," Duo continued to shout gleefully. "The sooner you get here, the sooner I'll shut up!"

That was motivation enough for Heero to dress with speed and gear up for today's mission. It was a relatively low-key affair, all things considered, but any mission that called for the full team of five former pilots required at least two guns per person and four extra clips minimum. Plus the usual load, of course.

"Quatre must be the one already up," Heero mused to himself, checking his third gun. "He would be the one to give Duo access to the system, of course."

Stepping out into the hallway, he was met with the absolutely livid red face of Wufei, who looked as pristine and put-together as always, but had added a scowl that could wilt houseplants.

"If that idiot doesn't stop his noise, I'm going to introduce him to a form of Chinese torture he's never even heard of," he promised darkly.

"Boys! Boys! You're so slow! I'm already on my fifth coffee of the day! I'm starting to feel lllloooonnnneelllyyyy," Duo's voice half-sang, half-howled.

"Five coffees?" Heero raised an eyebrow. "Quatre would never let him…"

"You're right. I didn't."

Wufei and Heero turned to see Quatre, his face carefully blank, standing before them. He, too, wore a full Preventers uniform, complete with his own arsenal. A stray clump of blond hair sticking out to the side was the only indication he was less than perfectly awake and collected.

"Are you telling me we have _Barton_ to thank for this incessant litany of inane chatter?" Wufei demanded.

"Well, it wasn't my idea. I almost wish it was," and here Quatre's neutral mask slipped slightly, but enough for those who knew him best to see that he was highly amused and only just keeping himself under control to avoid irritating his teammates. "My wake-up call would have been your phones ringing."

"I'm going to build you a new password system," Heero decided, "because obviously you need it if this is the result of Duo's tampering."

"Wake up, my darlings! Wake up and smell the breakfast! _Breeaaaackfaaaasssst_. Oh, and Cat, sorry about that platter. I totally didn't notice it was there when I sat down! I hope it wasn't too expensive!"

"Allah preserve us," Quatre buried his face in his hands, trying to keep his shoulders from shaking with laughter.

"He'd better, because nothing else will save that moron from me," Wufei threatened, turning to move down the hallway towards the breakfast room.

Quatre and Heero exchanged glances and hurried after him. This was one of Quatre's "real" houses, not the temporary safehouses the five used between missions when they were undercover or just being cautious. The ornately gilded frames that held oil paintings shone even in the artificial lights, and the stately men and women from ages past looked down their noses at the three young men rushing by.

"You guys are so slow! Come on, babes! Move it!"

"Did he just call us 'babes,' or did I imagine it?" Heero glanced to Quatre who nodded.

"Hey Wu-Wu-Wubber bubber flubber! I miss you soooooooooo!"

Wufei threw open the door to the breakfast room a few steps ahead of Heero and Quatre, near to roaring inarticulately. The table was spread before them with a luxurious set of breakfast choices, from hot and cold cereal to eggs and meats and rice and greens and even a roasted chicken. At one end of the room, Duo held a microphone that was hooked to his laptop and was dancing with it to his own unique beat. The edge of the table nearest him showed evidence of some very large, heavily-laden platter having been violently upended and shattered, its contents strewn absolutely everywhere.

Across from Duo sat Trowa, who was laughing silently, his eyes streaming tears of mirth.

"MAXWELL!"

Wufei charged the braided ex-pilot, but was brought up short by something suddenly in front of his nose. Only his ridiculously sharp reflexes kept him from careening into it.

"Trowa made it for you," Duo said, so saccharinely sweetly it was near disgusting. "He didn't let me touch it at all."

"The only thing," Wufei was practically vibrating, "that could have saved you from me was this." He took the offered teacup delicately, as though it were a butterfly. "Next time I shall not show mercy."

"Of course not, babe!"

Heero and Quatre exchanged glances and managed to get to the table without Wufei seeing them struggling to control their expressions. Duo winked at them, and Trowa managed to clear his throat and pretend as if he hadn't been laughing himself silly. Wufei sank into a chair and breathed the warm aroma as a man inhales the scent of food after starvation.

All heroes have weaknesses. The fact that Chang Wufei's rage can be tamed by tea is used regularly against him by his friends.


End file.
